When I was a kid, I always thought I am going to be in the same town for the rest of my life. I will go to school, as everybody went, I will go to the college in the town as everybody went and I will do a job as people around me does. I had no idea there are many places other than my town exists.
But then I grew up as everybody does. My college (because of confusion and poor choices and poor government arrangement) was 45 kilometer away from my home, my town.
That was the first time; I was literally out of my comfort zone. as a teenager, you always wanted to explore, and I too wanted to, but my ‘wanderlust’ was mainly going to the city and watch rich people showing off their clothes and status (yes, I have been judgemental in my life)
I was frightened when I have to travel on the bus; I have never done it alone. I had to take an auto from the main street to the bus stand, then again the bus, and in the middle, I had to change the bus and then walk 15 minutes or so to reach my college.
I remember the first day of traveling on the bus. My parents told me what to do. They show me the route gave me money and send. The journey was uncertain. First, because I don’t know how to approach people and ask when I am confused. Second, I was all alone.
But I started anyway, and day by day I began to learn to ask and of course bus timing. No, it was not sudden of course. Many buses I leave because I couldn’t ask the conductor where the bus is going or passengers around me. Even though I would meet certain people every day, I never tried to talk to them.
Well, after three years or so when I completed college. I was much braver, and I know the route by heart, and I knew I could travel alone on the bus.
I started my master after that, and I was excited. I knew I could go on the bus. There was no fear, but then my parents said, you should stay there. Staying in another town which was in another city. What? No way. I can travel. Also, this college was comparatively near than earlier one.
Though because I was doing my ‘masters,’ my parents said I should live there. I was again terrified. I will no longer come back at the end of the end of the day and not eat my mother’s food.
Though, I packed up and found P.G. and started to live in another town. I had my ups and down fights and friendships, and eventually, I learned how to cope up with people who do not have the same mentality and choices and interest as you do.
suddenly I had to leave my state for dissertation. the good news is the new state and city was my favourite from childhood. it was fascinating and excitation is very small word for my feeling. the dream was coming true. the problem was i have to reach there by plane. I have been in plane before. once. I don’t like the feeling being on plane. They gave me this weird feeling in my stomach and ear and it feels like i am not in my control.
one of my friend booked my ticket and one of my brother told me what to do when you reach at airport and what to say, how to get boarding pass and all of that stuff. i went inside. I was happy, scared, excited. not only I am living in whole new state but whole new culture and where people don’t know my language. I had to speak the language I am not fluent in.
I lived there. I had fun there. I was happy there. I was at peace there because I fell in love with that city.
The city somehow healed me from inside. It was like after a long walk in the jungle you find a small waterfall where you drink water at first, and then you took a very soothing bath there. The city for me was like that little waterfall. That soothes me.
Anyways. I am back at my home and when i was coming back, I told my heart one last time to be little more brave because it is much braver. Now I know me. i know i am brave. I know I can handle.
SO my little braveheart. Thank you.